the curse of the red shoes

My poor old knees have been getting a work out this past week.

I took a flamboyant spill on the dancefloor at Spectrum on Saturday nite. This was ok as I was in a very jolly mood, I had my red shoes on and I was dancing like Mick Jagger (or trying to). Bounced up from the wet floor, took a curtsey and started boppin around again. Didnt really remember the incident till much later the next day when I was rumaging around for something in the mountain of clothes that permanently inhabits my room when the pain hit. Closer inspection revealed evidence of a heavy tumble on both knees, bruised and puffy with fluid building steadily in that bit below the patella. No skirts for me this week!

And so, wearing my sharp black pants I make my merry way to work on Monday. Push bike has been deemed unroadworthy by the swathy gents at Cheeky Transport (another story) so I’m on the tram for a few weeks. Strolling across City West Link at the pedestrian crossing, I momentarily misplace gravity and take yet another belly flop, this time in the middle of the road. Bag and contents fly everywhere, mobile phone skates across the intersection and I’m left laughing so hard I can hardly drag my shredded pants to safety on the other side. I need to point out here that I was NOT jay walking at the time but observing correct pedestrian protocol. I was, however, wearing those red shoes again…

It is moments like these that remind me why walking rek is such a fitting moniker. It seems that depsite my ardent efforts to be industrious and sensible, those mischievous imps that follow me around are just as up for a laugh as I am. Too bad for my knees though, they are on ice for a week. The smart black pants were sadly another casualty, but the red shoes are in fine form, waiting for round three…

what a disgrace!

Thanks for the graphic reminder Dazzlebatz!

Oh my! I had almost forgotten what that shamozzle looked like. Its amazing what people just learn to live with. I am pleased to report that the new and improved bathroom walls are very creamy and (almost) uniformly smooth.

fckn city faggotz

Smiths Lakes is not just a breezy 2 hour jaunt up the coast. Its about 240 minutes away, give or take. We went up to celebrate Gustin’s 30th and the recent purchase of his first real tinnie. Pretty odd mix of people: with the bday boy, his girl Amy and their 2 pups, another blissed out hippie couple from Lismore called Adam and Gemma, Bruggie, Tommo and Leah from Taree, Grant the sleep walker, Quincy the diplomat and me, booze hound, made 10 of us hangin in a stilt house half an hour from Foster on the last Sat nite in March 2007.

Plunging into a pacy mix of hooch and beer, it didnt take real long before we were in the swing of things. With no food in the house and the beer rapidly disappearing down the gullets of the majority, we headed to the local bowlo for a feed.

Up until this point, there was a general sense of joviality. We even learned about Cavitation as we sat on the grand back deck and experienced the canopy in its golden afternoon glory. Our curiosity was sparked by a couple of minor points of difference between the country and city cousins which started as friendly banter. The Taree gang’s preference to bongs over spliffs was wow worthy and their extensive knowlege of catching fish was pretty impressive. All we could do was just sit there and ask them more questions. Whilst we city cousins were fascinated by the colourful tales of rural living, it became apparent that our sincerity was being misread as smart ass.

At the bistro a lot of us ordered the Flathead and it was delicious. Gus got the steak. I was a bit put out that I only got 3 little bits of fish but the chips were good and the salad had feta and beetroot along with the usual grated carrot and iceberg. Meanwhile the rounds of beer kept coming. Tommo was probably in the worst shape out of all of us as he staggered around sneering “Don’t fear it” at everything. Sensing that we were thoroughly enjoying his perfomance Tommo proudly announced “That calls is the best calls cos I made it – Don’t fear it!”. Quincy’s meal evaporated down Tommo’s throat within a minute of its table debut, and as Quincy and Grant were waiting for round two I watched aghast as Tommo shovelled sloppy handfuls of chips into his coupon. Down the other end of the table Bruggsie was mumbling incoherent somethings about a particular group of “fucken city faggots”. Quincy diffused the situation with the slickness of a professional and I wrangled a lift home for us all on the Bowlo courtesy bus. The Taree melee decided to pack up and drive back to their comfort zone. Leaving us city faggots to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Back at the joint, Gemma and I whipped up a noxious punch that got sloshed about. At some point there was talk of taking the boat out, which got down graded to just sitting in the boat whilst it was still parked on the trailer on the street. This got vetoed too. Then a pasta salad appeared and was demolished in short time. The punch produced rapid results; a short high spike of sugary pep followed by a sharp hard crash sent us all to our respective bedrooms by 1am. There was only one recorded incidence of spew town which was suprisingy considering the volume and velocity at which we had been imbibing.

Breakfast at the Frothy Coffee boatshed cafe. I had the Eggs Benedict with extra Avocado and unrequested extra Rocket. The kitchen was staffed by 3 girls who seemed swamped by our patronage. We killed about an hour and a half toying with the table numbers and discussing the previous nite. The word Faggot got bandied about a bit, again.

Petty Jealousies

My cat Peggy (aka Pumpkin, Peglet, Peg Peg, Pegasaurus, Peaches) has a new friend.

The other nite whilst I was dozing off, I heard her jump off the bed and start talking. As she is normally quite a talkative cat, I didnt pay much attention to her late nite babble. But when she started giggling my curiosity got the better of me.

Peggy was sitting in the middle of my room with a teeny tiny mouse. It was the smallest mouse I’ve ever seen and it was dark brown. They were just hanging out as though they do it all the time. The mouse might have been startled by the lite I turned on, because it did a couple of circles around Peggy as she sat there and then it ran through her legs! Peggy just looked up at me and said “So?”.

Peggy has caught and killed a number of rodents over the last 5 years that I’ve lived here so I wasnt terribly suprised to see a mouse in my bedroom. My main concern is that she doesnt leave the carcasses under my bed. Thankfully she prefers to leave them somewhere that I can see them. Good kitten.

So why the sudden change of heart? Why this mouse? And how long has this been going on? They obviously have a very close relationship judging by their body language. And here I was thinking that I was the centre of Peggy’s universe. Alas, it seems I shall have to share her affections…

Friendships can be so fickle sometimes.

Maybe I’m holding on too tight…

charlie the unicorn

[youtube BFP0q4qzGw4]

my flatmate is soft, he dont wanna get drunk

and now he’s saying he dont wanna watch Charlie the Unicorm and says he has quit pot! HA!

He does Yoga for the bitches

And he has lousy punch lines….