four to the floor

1. passed my motorcycle p’s. woot!  janis was deemed unroadworthy ( a recurring theme) cos of her bald rear tyre.  i hadda hire one of their teeny tiny toy machines for the exam. not pretty. but i passed first go. funny, i hadnt noticed the shocking state of the back tyre even in the wet. had been fangin about fairly recklessly for months. oh well. i now have spankn new pirelli rubber to burn.
2. playground weekender happened again. this time they moved it to early feb instead of early march.  as usual we arrived just after midday on friday afternoon to secure a primo tent location in the rare shade. damn it was hot. i struggled to get the taj mahal up, took me ages cos i kept getting head spins from the heat. anyhow.  the fest was jus like the previous 2 years except we didnt get flooded and i didnt get busted.  it was also considerably more challenging in the 47 degree heat.   i experienced total amnesia on both the fri and sat nites, prob a combination of a few factors including lots of Tiger beer and heat exhaustion. i woke up on sun morning fully clothed in my space pirate costume . i then discovevered that i had been locked in my tent, with the padlock on the outside. i usually lock my tent when i’m not near it but i never lock it when i’m in it. the plot thickens. with my bladder screaming for attention i then discover that my key is missing from its usual hidey hole. GAH! i have NFI what has transpired here. i eventually find another key in some utterly random place and manage to relieve my guts. my thoughts again turn to the mystery at hand… how the fuck did i lock myself in my tent with the lock on the outside? why would i lock myself in my tent in the first place? did i even lock myslef in my tent? did someone else? why would i need to be locked in my tent? owww this conundrum is hurting my addled brain. hmmm…wait…the most logical conclusion i can come to is that i de-materialized outside my tent and then re-materialized inside it…and never unlocked it in the first place! YES! of course!  thats it! pure quantum physics! simple. (although the missing key is still at large, i have pretty much accepted this version of the truth. its not like certain parties will ever admit to locking me in there…). i am led to believe that i enjoyed myself  thoroughly on both evenings and certain footage captured on my digital camera substantiate this claim. made some new friends who were camped in our hood, we partied with less intensity on the sun day nite and stayed up till 5am listening to the boom chaka coming from the tee-pee village next door. slept in on mon morning then indulged in some camp site lootn after hordes of punters just legged it to the ferry leaving behind their entire festival set-ups. i scored a great lil esky complete with ice bricks, a brand new folding chair, 2 ace picnic blankets and a really mean red pirate flag. i would’ve got shit loads more if i could carry it but my ikea wheels were already maxxed out. committed oursleves to the last ferry so we could just lounge about a bit longer and eventually made it home. another epic weekender.
3. i had the pleasure of attending a “white party” for some 40th. the birthday boy had arranged blonde lingerie waitresses to wait on hand and foot for his guests. around midnite the cops paid a visit and shut down what was really just a mild piss-up with bad 90’s vocal house and a couple of lazers. on the way out the door en route to my waiting cab one of the cops remarked loudly that there wasnt much point hanging around after i’d left the building. a few seconds later another cop, this one was straight outta high school, runs after me and asks me how much i get paid. i ask him why, how much do you get paid? he says how much do you get paid to be a lingerie waitress? LOL i’m not sure if i should be offended or flattered. (for the record i do not moon light as a lingerie waitress, nor was i dressed like one on this particular occasion).
4. birthday shenadigans went well: had the “annual mex fest with piratical theme” which was basically an excuse to dress like a salty wench, wear boots and get loaded. my costume included a  floor length black leather coat and tricorn hat. there wasnt much underneath, jus a lotta ribbons and corsetry. was a swell nite. suitably maggot, i won the meat tray, got a $100 voucher from the mex joint who fckd up my booking, negotiated $25 per head at gourmet turk place that normally charges $45, then scored the private cushion room with smoking terrace and complete BYO. smiles all round.